I would have said things like:
1. "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"
2. "Let me smell that shirt. Yeah, it's good for another week."
3. "Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me."
4. "I don't have a tissue with me ... just use your sleeve."
5. "Don't bother wearing a jacket; the wind-chill is bound to improve."